At a Loss

Hello, beautiful reader. I had my first appointment at the Mayo Clinic today and it went bad. Really bad. I don't even know where to start. I'll just begin with the beginning of the appointment. 

I walked in the room with my mom & dad and when the nurse came in she explained that the doctor liked to talk to the patient first, then invite the parents so I just sat there reading a few bible verses and meditating on The Word of God when he walked in. He looked in a rush but, then again, don't most doctors? He said "Do you have parents?" & I said yes sir the nurse said you liked to then he cut me off and called my parents and said something to the tune of "that's weird." Great start right? Yeah, no. He cut my mom and me off constantly questioning everything we said and acting like his knowledge that he got out of a text book was superior to my knowledge I have gotten from living with these diseases. He ultimately questioned my DX and he kind of thought what I have is liver problems because "no test" stated I had Crohn's. I told him about my gastric emptying test and he said that it was inaccurate because of my pain medicine. What in the world did the previous doctors write in my charts for me to get the drug seeker look? Right in that moment I just wanted to break down and cry. I bit my lip to prevent me from sassing him. After I told him I've been exercising and that could be why I've gained weight he contemplated the idea and partially dismissed that himself. At the end of the appointment, he said "we have to find out why you're in this massive amount of pain don't worry we'll get ya fixed." 

Do you know how many times I've heard that? More then I can count on my fingers and toes. The appointment quickly came to the end and he ordered blood work, an MRI, & a stool study.

It's 9:45 P.M here and I've finally broke down and had a good cry. In the bathroom. I just don't know what I've done to deserve this. I just wish all my doctors could feel my pain and all my annoying symptoms. I'm at a loss of what to do. A patient can only do so much. If I don't have Crohn's, then I need to be referred to a therapist because those meds that I took in vain have ruined me. Emotionally and physically. & if I don't have Crohn's why did all those meds give me somewhat of symptom relief? I don't know man. I don't know. This doc is giving me all sorts of bad feels. I don't think he's God ordained or otherwise I wouldn't be feeling this upset. Please pray for me y'all. I need a miracle above all else. 😔