I just feel so lost and need to write and get all my emotions out before I have a breakdown.
Well, let's start with this week. This week I've had very bad vertigo. It has interfered with everything. It started on Monday after school. I was on my way home when all of a sudden I had a massive headache; I was nauseated and just felt yuck. When I went home I took a pill that was a left over from my previous treatment of vertigo last year. The next day I felt wonky and found myself asleep in Chemistry. Which, to me, was no big deal considering I have an A, but my teacher disagreed with me so I got called out. After class ended I phoned home because at that point I was so sleepy and dizzy I didn't care. I slept for the remainder of the day. On Wednesday is when my whole world flipped upside down, literally. I was taking a shower before school and as I leaned my head back under the nozzle and massaged shampoo in my hair I felt a swift jolt in my lower abdomen followed by a feeling of doing a complete 360 in my head. I fell to my knees but I eventually stood up again. After standing I felt a series of tiny but powerful punches in my stomach that hurt enough that I screamed at the top of my lungs. My younger brother raced in the bathroom an asked if I needed his assistance. After that, everything is blurry. I believe he may have helped me into the bed and I told him to relay these series of events to momma and tell her that I was not going to school because three hours later I woke up naked in a fetal position, with soap suds still in my hair. Later I went to school and finished out the day. That day my mother phoned my GI doctors(my GI doctors are pretty much my pediatricians, internist, neurologist and super man wrapped into one big package). Dr. King didn't answer for whatever reason, neither did Cacyn or Vivi. Dr. Gremse nurse eagerly answered the phone though and I got an appointment with him asap the next day. He wasn't even in clinic that day but he was sweet enough to meet us there at 2:00.
By this time I was averaging 12 hours of asleep a day due to various factors. When we met Dr. Gremse my mother decided that she wanted him to admit me but he didn't seem to think that was necessary(thank GOD) so my mother randomly decided that she thought it was best to get a colonoscopy. After that everything happened so fast. I'm still in shock. Dr. Gremse had an opening Friday(today) at the GI lab so he and my mother put together a game plan for trying to diagnose my strange symptoms. They scheduled me to have a CT scan, blood work and a colonoscopy immediately. So that day I went to lab corps and got blood work done then after that I went home and started the colonoscopy prep! I don't eat much so it wasn't that big of a deal for me to of had a liquid diet that day.
I got my colonoscopy at 10:00 AM. I absolutely hate colonoscopys especially at that hospital because of their unique protocol. I was already upset because one, I didn't want the colonoscopy and upper endoscopy and two, it took three painful tries to get an IV. Then it came time for anesthesia. Other than the pooping non stop the night before, that is the worse part of getting scoped, at least for me. I have a sensitive nose so the smell of anesthesia makes me want to vomit. I would rather smell feces then that god awful stuff. I even aspirated on myself one time because I was so nauseated by the smell but that's a different story for a different time. They put on the "oxygen mask"(which was really anesthesia. This isn't my first rodeo peoples) and I almost had a panic attack and punched the nurses. The smell was just...ugh. I did twist and turn and held my breath for a good while. Finally the IV sedation hit and I was out!
The colonoscopy showed very little inflammation, surprisingly. I just had a patch or two in my colon and ileum. The upper endoscopy showed that my gastritis was back with a vengeance and they found a new little surprise: a Hiatal Hernia. Although it is small, it's still a freaking hernia. I don't need surgery just yet though. My CT was clear and my blood work showed vitamin deficiency's! again. Which is strange because he kept saying I had malabsorption but I don't understand how I have that if I'm in endoscopic remission???? The GI believes that is what's causing my vertigo.
Currently, I am sitting in my dark bedroom typing 12:00 AM and meditating to the sound of clicking of the keyboard. I am really upset and angry and I don't know why. I guess because I feel like I'm undiagnosed again. Attempting to justify my symptoms with nothing to back it up. With every twitch of pain I feel like crying because no one really knows why I'm feeling this. I hate the ole "Maybe it's muscle cramps" because by now I know my body and I know something isn't right. I know the low grade inflammation could be causing this but I doubt it. I know something is going on with my body and someone is over looking it. I had this same feeling last year at this same time of the year, right after my colonoscopy. My doctors over looked it and thought it was nothing. Then one month later I ended up in the hospital for a week. I think that's why I didn't want the colonoscopy. Ignorance is purely bliss. So here I am debating if I want to look up this medical jargon he told me or will it only make me more upset. People keep telling me "Oh that's good news that your CT is good and that your inflammation is down". How is that supposed to me make me feel better? I'm still in pain. I still can't hear from the vertigo.
I just need a cure. I am determined to find a cure for this freaking disease. I'm tired of it taking away my life and making me miserable.
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