Dreaming From The Bathroom

With each passing month my health declines more and more

Not a week goes by where I'm not sitting in a waiting or hospital room.

And all I want is to experience something other than the pain that is my illnesses

I dream of the cold snow in New York City whenever I felt the coolness of the tiles in my bathroom

Whenever I feel the cool rush of Cimzia fade into warmth in my thigh I think of the weather in Seattle

The crowded streets of Chicago remind me of full waiting rooms

Relief. The relief that you experience when the pain meds hit are not of this world. I guess the best I can do is compare it to that time you fail your first test and your parents don't kill you

I want to travel to all of those places again but here's the catch: I don't want a single prescription bottle in my carry on.

I've learned to appreciate the days where I have the energy to shower

And I cherish the days where the pain is bearable enough that I could enjoy the happiness my friends shared with me.

And camp. Both arthritis & crohn's camp is the most freeing thing in the world. To know that this pain is shared with people your age? Phenomenal

I can't remember a lot of things now but I remember this: February 7, 2010. The day the old me died and a much wiser young woman was born.