It Was All Yellow

At Arthritis Camp, at lunch every day would we have a motivational speaker. One speaker really touched me more than anyone and their child didn't even have arthritis. A woman told her daughter's testimony about how she had cancer and she used to go to Camp Rap-A-Hope(a camp for patients with cancer) & how much she loved it because she could just be free. She said that she used to color coat her days. Yellow was her good days. So, when she passed away her mom made bracelets that said "It Was All Yellow..."(lyrics from the song cold play). & I thought that was just so awesome.

Lately, things haven't been yellow. But like the girl, Karrissa I believe her name is, I'm trying to find a little yellow in everything.

What's been giving Elizabeth the "blue"s? Probably prednisone. I hate the drug so very much which is why I'm cutting it off cold turkey tomorrow. I can't deal with the hopeless depression anymore. I can't handle the suicidal thoughts. I can't handle the negative body image it's given me. I simply can't. 

If I could tell someone with these diseases who is newly DX one thing it's this: You'll have days where you conquer the beast & you'll have days where you'll be utterly defeated. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. 

My score in 2014 is 4-0(as far as hospitalizations go). 

It's so hard to fight a disease that is literally trying to kill you. It's even harder to fight several autoimmune diseases. Your body is working to kill you & keep you alive. I've lost the battles but I'm going to win the war against my health. I know I will. The devil just wants to keep me away from looking at the big picture. 

Yellow: I got out of the house and went out to eat

Blue: Hot flashes, diarrhea, pain. Lots of pain.